This morning, while I was journaling, I made a list of the things I wanted to do today. I was trying to sit with feelings and relate to them, but the mess of things  scurrying around in my brain was a little too distracting. Putting those things down on paper helped get them out of my active mind. Along with doing that, I did need to state in writing that I'm allowed to change the list, amend the list, delete off the list, or disregard the list. The point of the list is not to say "I MUST DO THESE THINGS TODAY OR IT'S NOT A SUCCESSFUL DAY!" That is not what I consciously think, but it's running around in my unconscious mind, ready to pop up here or there to say "I am not enough" or "I did not accomplish enough today". Usually it's "Wow… you had a whole day and you did NOTHING." [the great fallacy of black and white thinking] BUT, less than everything on the list is not nothing. Those two phrases are not equivalent.

Acknowledging those fears / thoughts has helped me feel better, which has actually helped get through more things on the list. AND, it has helped me to enjoy the doing of them. The action; the process; NOT the result (not the list).

Regarding the clots and my treatment, I'm doing about the same. Started my 3rd week of Xarelto this morning. Progress, I suppose. I'm not too concerned about getting "through" since right now, the prescription is indefinite, but in 1 more week, I move to a different, slightly lower dose. Fingers crossed for all of that. Onward.