This morning, I'm starting to think more about the nuts and bolts of physical recovery. Yesterday, my leg was a little more irritated and swollen than some days. I spent more time on my feet doing various things. It feels good to be productive, but feels bad to see my limb more swollen than some other days. Nothing extreme, out of the ordinary or dangerous - just a visual, tactile indication of pushing myself a bit. Maybe a bit too much.

That's a common theme for me here and in other circumstances. Particularly with physical things - I've definitely had lots of small experiences over the course of my exercise career where I didn't really listen to or have much of a conversation with my body or different parts of my body. Perhaps a part of this experience is trying to figure out how to better do that. I have learned a lot over the years about listening to my heart / mind / emotions, particularly in how that relates to anxiety. I wish it didn't take something unpleasant and significant to make some sort of change in process. It doesn't always. Bumping up against the edge is a normal instinct, I suppose. If I stayed far away from it, I'd miss out on things that way too.

There's nothing particularly revelatory about talking about balance and finding it, which is really what I'm doing here. As far as leg-related specifics, I think I'm going to try and start doing some sort of gentler yoga practices. Try to work back into physical movement that way without putting too much strain on the system. I also need to figure out how to re-mobilize my left hip that's been out of sorts for years and years. Though the doctor made a strange analogy when I asked him, I don't think it helps my circulation to have a janky, half-frozen-up hip joint in my left leg.

We'll see how that leg goes, or maybe I'll bump up against another wall.